Batteries in Walmart
by blazey021
Summary: When Rose and Bella head to Walmart to get 'batteries' its always fun times. Also includes a lemon, and fun times with the girls. One shot... for now. Should I continue? please review to let me know. AH, OOC


**BPOV**

"What the fuck Rose? Shopping… at Wal-mart… again?... seriously?!" I yelled.

"Yea, got a problem hoe?" Rosalie bitched.

"God, you're turning into the goddamn poster child for this fucking place!" I bitched back, turning around to point the 'family planning' section out to Rose. That was the whole point in coming to this godforsaken store of doom.

I had met Rose at her house about two hours ago, and we were supposed to be on a mission for condoms. Get in, get out. That's it, but after about an hour of Rose bitching at her mom about nothing she had to take her younger sister Hannah with us. No problem, but now we had to go look at the fucking toys and get the goods on the sly.

Well needless to say I was getting antsy about five minutes into this mission, and Rose kept getting distracted. Yea, we think she has A.D.O.S. [Attention deficit… OH! SHINY!]. …oh wait, that might be me. Oh well fuck this.

"Rose!" I yelled…. Damnit where'd that bitch go? "Oh Rosalie… where'd you go?!" I sang.

"What the fuck do you want bitch?" Came Rosalie's oh so sweet voice.

"Lets get the goods already, I want to go." I said as I was already dragging her and Hannah along to the condom aisle.

Good thing this child was so well behaved. She always just went along with whatever we were doing and she knew not to repeat any of our 'choice' words. Thank god. I don't know if I couldn't swear around her. I did love her though.

"Where the hell are the intense ribbed?" Rose asked getting more frustrated by the second. "Damn it I think I'll have to ask someone! Fuck!"

"Since when did YOU get shy?" I asked in shocked disbelief.

"Oh thank god! Found them! They were hiding!" Rose sighed out in relief as she kept looking.

"What the fuck? I thought that's what you wanted? Now, let's go already bitch!" I nearly screamed at her.

"Hold on a fucking second. I want to explore _all_ my options." She giggled. "Speaking of options Bella, when are you and that very sexy boyfriend of yours going to be visiting this aisle for a purpose other than for when I have needs?"

Damn was this bitch nosy sometimes.

"Well Rose, unlike you and Emmett, Edward and I are not rabbits. Besides, he agreed to wait until I was ready after that whole James thing. I am still not ready, so calm yourself." I thought it was an appropriate answer. Better than what I _wanted_ to yell at her.

Just before she was about to answer I felt a little tug on my shirt… it was Hannah. Oh… shit.

"Bella?" Hannah's oh so innocent voice asked me.

"Yes dear?" I replied. This is not going to be good Bella. _Divert any dangerous questions to Rosalie!_ Good plan, go with it.

"What is Rose looking at?" She kept looking at all those condoms. Oh god this sweet innocent child is going to be corrupted by her fucking nympho of a sister.

Fuck, I knew Rose was listening by the smirk I seen her wear out of the corner of my eye. Stupid bitch. That's ok I'll just tell her the truth, Rose will have to deal with the wrath of their mother when she gets home… haha stupid hoe.

"Are those batteries?" Asked a very impatient 4 year old Hannah, looking from me to Rose.

Well me and Rose started looking at each other then back to the ummm… yea batteries if you will.

I managed to choke out "Um, yes Hannah. You can call those batteries." That's about when Rose and I completely lost it.

In the middle of the 'family planning' aisle.

In the middle of Wal-Mart.

With her 4 year old sister next to us looking at us like we were stupid. They were of course only batteries, right? Yea, no.

** * * ***

**Rpov**

"Emmmm!" I sang sweetly to my monkey man.

"I'm coming; I can't get this damn thing on." Emmett replied all frustrated.

"Um, what's so hard? You take it out of the package, and roll it on your dick." I said exasperated and impatient.

"Um… I think it's stuck… I think it's too small. I think you should've got the magnum XL's babe" He replied trying to get it off.

"Did you grow or something and not tell me?!" I laughed. "Come here so a grownup can help you."

"Babbeeee." He whined. "I _am_ a grown up…"

"Well learn how to put a fucking condom on, and come fuck me already." I said.

I was sick of this fucking game. So I just got undressed and laid down spread eagle across his bed. He would have to figure it out sooner or later. We only had a couple of hours until his parents came home from Port Angeles. Otherwise he could pay a visit to Jill and I would just grab one of my toys Sara sold me at our sex toy party. That girl was a godsend.

"Cant we just do it without one?" Emmett complained. He was definitely frustrated, and me laying here naked taunting him didn't help any but I thought it was funny.

"Fuck no; do you want little Em's running around this goddamn place? It's called population control for a goddamn reason!" I was starting to get impatient, and pissed.

"But babe, I just can't get it on, did you buy a bigger size?" He asked hopefully, probably thinking he actually grew. When in actuality all he needed was a brain when he got horny.

So I watched him fumble around with a now crumpled condom on his dick. Oh my god was this boy just totally clueless sometimes… I was so horny and fucking pissed off I went over to the dresser grabbed a new condom and tackled that sad fuck of a horny bitch to the bed. I ripped off his mangled rubber and wrestled on the new one with ease, as I flicked the mangled one into his face. He just grabbed and threw it out.

"See honey? You didn't get bigger. You just needed a woman to do it for you." I smirked, planting a kiss on his lips.

So I went to go straddle him as he was lying down on the bed to taunt and tease that bitch some more. It was more fun for me this way. So we starting kissing for about oh, I would say 30 seconds, and then you know what that fucker did? He tried to put it in right there. I about smacked him across the face. And you know what I said; well fuck you I'll tell you what I said.

"I said _NO!_ You will _**NOT**_ have your way with me! We are going to do things _my_ way right now!" I demanded it.

"Oohhh Rose, I love when you go all dominatrix on me. Do we still have the handcuffs and tape from last time?" He asked all excited.

"What the _FUCK?! _Did I ask you to speak? You're going to do things my way, and shut the fuck up. Now, I got the condom on so do me a favor and get down there and do your job, bitch." I laughed as I pushed his big ol' head down towards my pussy. I loved being in control. Things just go so much more smoothly.

Now, if everyone else would just see it my way. I _got_ this bitch trained, and he's pig headed so that tells you something. And oh god, was he trained _goooodd… _ mmmm.. The things this boy could do with his mouth and fingers.... mmm those fingers.

Shit. I'm getting myself all worked up just thinking about it, but then again. Em _is_ pretty good when he's in charge, in the bedroom at least. Its dick, that's all he has to do, is think with his dick. Hmm…

"Babe, I know you don't get your way to be in control all the time… ok almost none of the time. But I want you to take control tonight. I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me hard." I growled at him.

Saying that almost made him cum right there. His eyes bugged out, and you could see his dick twitch in anticipation of our fun time to come.

He grabbed me roughly and flipped me over so I was underneath him. He grabbed my hips and pulled me towards his face. He looked at me and smirked. He gave me one long and slow… god was it slow… lick up my center and nibbled on my clit. I let out a loud moan in appreciation. This just turned him on even more. He plunged a finger in to my nice hot, wet center. He pumped me in and out all the while giving my clit a good tongue lashing. He plunged two more fingers into me and I cried out in ecstasy. It just felt so damn good and I was already all worked up that it didn't take me too long before I knew I needed him.

I needed all of him. Inside of me. Now.

"Emmett… as much as I loved your tongue on my wet pussy. I need you shove your hard cock into me and fuck the shit out of me." I moaned out to him.

He didn't even have to think twice before he was above me, kissing me. Kissing me with all the passion he knew. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and I granted him access to my mouth. I had reached around his head and grabbed his neck to pull him closer to me; once he was closer they went to tug on his hair and to pull his face closer to mine. It never felt close enough. Once I opened my mouth to him and surrendered control my tongue met his as his brutally attacked mine, and our tongues danced together. He stopped just as my lungs were about to explode and he started sucking on my lip and kissing my neck, and touching me all over with his hands. My hands found his back as they clawed across it with pleasure. This only turned him on more as his hands found my nipples and they were so teasingly playing with them. My nipples were so hard, but it felt so good.

"Babe, please, now." I softly moaned into his ear.

He needed it now too, and thrust himself into me, god I felt so full with him in me. And that's all it took to send me over the edge for the second time screaming his name at the top of my lungs.

"Oh god Emmett, I love you so much." I managed to choke out between breaths and sighs as my climax slowly gave way.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

We both froze.

"Honey, sorry to interrupt… We just got back early and saw Rose's car in the drive way. Well, then I heard some umm… screaming. Well, um, erm, is everything okay in there?" Esme asked in a hurry yet still concerned.

And that's when I felt Emmett go completely limp inside me. And the rest of his body grew tense.

"Why the _fuck_ are they home early?" I whispered quietly.

"Shit!" he said under his breath.

"Yea mom we will be right out" Emmett said as his voice broke.

I giggled and said "Don't worry baby I will definitely take care of you later."

We quickly dressed and headed downstairs. Esme just looked at us with smirk on her face. Oh yea, she knew.

"So what was all that ruckus about?" Esme asked knowingly.

"Ummm…. Well you see mom we were uh.... umm…playing doctor?" it came out more of a question than a statement as Emmett said it.

I just looked at him, rolled my eyes and walked towards the door.

"Good job, coming up with something creative!" I almost yelled at him embarrassed.

I gave Esme a hug, and just to embarrass me further if it were possible she whispered in my ear that she had done it back in 'her day' and that it was perfectly natural. AH. Oh. My. God. I NEVER wanted to hear Esme talk like that again. She was practically my mother. Well, my second mother. This was too embarrassing. I hurried my goodbyes as fast as I could. Esme tipped me off that I might be able to avoid Carlisle, who had heard everything in the first place and decided that it was best for Esme to be the one to spy. Oh god. They both knew.

I went to hug Em goodbye and he grabbed my tit right there, in front of his mother! I was so startled and flustered by it all that I slapped him across the face. Fuck, if he thinks he can grope me in front of Esme.

"What was that for Rose?!" Emmett yelled, obviously offended. "She wasn't looking, she wouldn't have ever known."

"For crying out loud Em, it's your mother!" I said in a hushed whisper.

I was mad, and I just yelled a goodbye over my shoulder to him after I quickly hugged Esme goodbye one last time. You couldn't help but love her, embarrassed or not.

I headed to the car thinking I was home free, until Carlisle popped up out of nowhere and said "so uh… next time you guys think about playing doctor, would you like me to bring you guys some stirrups to make things easier on you?" he smirked with a knowing look on his beautifully stupid face.

I didn't even say anything. A dark crimson blush flushed my cheeks, if that was possible. They were red as fuck as it was. I quickly got into my BMW and drove away, _fast_. Damn those knowing parents. I should have just gone along with it and asked Carlisle if he could just bring some more condoms home for us. I should have just told him the brand and kind I preferred too! Jesus! Let me just tell you… I'm not going back there for a while. Next time Emmett wants some, he can fucking come to my house for it.

After I left the Cullen's I went over to Bella's house to pick her up for last minute school shopping. We still had to pick up Alice, who was just getting off of work.

"Hey hoe." I said.

"What's goin' on whore face?" She replied.

…Yea, Bella just moved here at the beginning of last summer and we were best friends, oh yea plus Alice too. We all worked together and were managers at Arby's. We were just pulling up and Alice was already running out, she hated it there.

"How was work? Was the safe still broke?" I asked her as she was climbing into the back of my car.

"Well the stupid lady finally came today to fix it. Thanks for breaking it by the way Bella!" Alice exclaimed.

"It wasn't my fault guys, the handle just broke!" Bella whined to defend herself.

"Chill, she was kidding; weren't you _Alice_?" I asked her begging her not to be stupid and upset Bella. She already agreed to go shopping with us, and I didn't need her in a worse mood bringing down the whole shopping experience.

"Yes Bella, take a fucking pill. I was just joking." Alice said getting frustrated. "I know what will cheer us all up guys!" Alice exclaimed as she was returning to her usual annoying hyper self. "Let's get AMPS!!!"

"Oh yea, didn't you name them or something like that?" Bella asked mildly curious now.

"Heck yea, I did!" Alice was literally bouncing in the back seat. I really don't think her tiny body could handle any more sugar. I don't know how she did it. She had no blood. Caffeine ran through her veins. At least that's what we thought, although it was never medically proven.

"Well are you going to freaking tell us, or are you going to pop one right now?" I asked getting frustrated.

"Pop _what?!_" Bella asked smiling now, half amused by the direction the conversation was going. It was always good times with these girls.

"Hahaha. Shut up, you stupid hoe. That's all I could think of." I retorted.

"You guys are idiots, and I'm not going to pop anything… except maybe an orgasm when I get my amps!" Alice replied excitedly.

So we pulled into the nearest gas station to get Alice's amps. She ended up getting red, blue, and green. She also refused to tell us until we all sampled them all together. So this is how this went down, In my BMW, in the middle of a gas station parking lot.

"Ok guys; take a sip of blue and red amp together." Alice was literally clapping she was so freaking excited.

"Ok well that was good, can you tell us what you call that one now?" Bella asked.

"Well isn't that one obvious guys?" Alice looked at us like we were retarded. "PURPLE!! …come on now, keep up."

"Stupid little pixie…" I mumbled. Teach her to make me look stupid. Just for that I took a sip of all of them together. Teach her. Bitch.

"Uhhh ROSSEEEEEE!" Alice whined in protest when she noticed I took a sip of all of them without her telling me too. Bella followed suit, sipping them all at once. They were actually pretty good. "Well since you guys cheated, all of them together are called Christmas with frostbite!"

We all just looked at each other and cracked up.

"Don't you get it guys?" Alice laughed. "It's red and green which are the Xmas colors and frostbite is the blue!" She was retarded. "Ok now try red and green together guys!"

"Mmm that's actually pretty good, again." I said tasting the concoction. "What is it, Christmas?"

"Close!" Alice squealed. "Christmas in your tummy!!" She was so damn hyper. She didn't need any more energy drinks. For like, the rest of her life. "Ok only one more mix left guys! This one is my favorite!!" She sang.

"Blue and green?" Bella asked curious.

"Yes, now shut up and drink so we can go shopping!!" Alice exclaimed excitedly.

"Ok… Well what is this one called then Alice?" Bella asked.

"The Grinch with blue balls!!" Replied Alice in a matter of fact voice, like it was already obvious some normal person would have come up with it.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my entire life." I said. "Although it was pretty good, so now I guess we know Alice's amps huh?"

And we all laughed and drank and laughed some more. When I could finally see after the tears subsided from all the laughing I pulled back out onto the street. Needless to say we were all hyper as fuck now. Wired. Alice always was, but it was a real treat to see me or Bells like this. I love it when we are like this, my favorite part was coming. And, it was even coming _before_ the mall! How exciting!

"Are you going to roll the windows down already?" Asked Alice, impatient as always.

"Can you put on your damn seat belt then?" I asked trying to be serious, but it was just too funny.

"Why?" She asked all confused.

"Well, your bouncing around as it is, if I open the windows you're going to bounce right out!" I snorted. Yes, I snorted, and another round of uncontrollable laughter hit us all.

I told you, it was always great times with these girls.

Ok so air off, windows down, and music up. We were ready, now where were those damn red lights?

"Perfect!" Bella smiled.

I knew what she was talking about too, as we stopped at a red light next to a car of pretty decently attractive boys.

I honked my horn and that was our cue.

It was perfect that I remembered my cd, and I pushed the track I wanted. They all looked over and we looked at them all seductively until we all reached for our water or pop bottles in unison and held them up and started singing into them with the music.

"This song is _perfect_!" Bella said laughing.

"Nasty Naughty Boy by Christina Aguilera is my new favorite!" Alice laughed from the back seat.

The look on those boys faces. It was priceless, as the light turned green and I sped off easily passing those boys in their pimped out clunker laughing the whole time.

* * *

The shopping trip wasn't so bad, not even for Bella. We were all in such a great mood, nothing could bring us down. We got Starbucks even though we really didn't need it, and stopped at Applebee's for the _best_ dessert ever! The triple chocolate meltdown that 'erupts' upon first bite; yea, we laugh every time we read that. The sugar and caffeine coursing through our veins didn't help much either. We were being so loud, that everyone in the mall and the restaurant were gawking at us, but who the fuck cared about them. We just had a great day shopping and teasing boys and Bella didn't complain once and even though she would rather die than admit it I think she actually _enjoyed_ it!

Our 'sword fight' was the worst of it in Applebee's. Those poor waitresses, we tipped them double so I actually don't feel too bad, they know they got a kick out of it too.

Alice saw the table next to us get an alcoholic drink, with the lemon and lime on it. Well at this restaurant you don't get a cool little umbrella, you get an awesome little sword to hold the stuff together! It was awesome! Well Alice being Alice, wanted one of those damn tiny little swords, so naturally; she leaned over and asked for one of theirs. The look the lady gave her was priceless, but surprisingly she surrendered her sword to Alice.

Alice was playing with her sword when Bella decided she wanted one too, but was too chicken to ask for one. So when the waitress came over Alice took that sword and held it up right in front of her nose and asked the waitress for another one to… 'sword fight.' Hahaha, oh my god; I think the poor waitress almost lost it right there. She came back with a big smirk on her face and pulled out not one, but two more swords! I was so happy, even though we vowed to never tell anyone about that day's experiences. They didn't need to know how crazy we were! We all took those swords and we battled it out! Around our food, drinks, everything on that table; eventually Bella broke her sword and somehow got mine and broke that one too. Stupid bitch; Alice was victorious!

After Applebee's and _the_ greatest last day of summer ever, I dropped them both off at their houses and headed home to get some sleep for school tomorrow. Senior year!

**This is just a one-shot for now.**

** Pleaseee review and let me and my friend [who helped me write it] know_ if its any good and we should continue! _**

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**Review, Please.**

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